Day 29
Last night I had "the mother of all cravings". It was family induced. I love them but they are a huge trigger for me. We're just very different. This is why I am worried about upcoming family vacation....2 weeks...all of us...together....
While my hubby was out getting the milk we were low on, I had the worst craving for white wine. I just wanted to cruise through the evening and not let those family differences get to me. I try to have patience and it just takes everything out of me.
I was telling myself that I could just "drown" it tonight, just for one night....
I wanted, SO BADLY, to text hubby to get white wine to bring home....I was going to say that I needed some for the family since we weren't stocking it anymore. Ha, more like for me.
I didn't text.
And, lo and behold, this "ginormous" craving DID pass. It really did. I wouldn't have believed it could.
Hubby and I took some time to sit outside before dinner and enjoy a few minutes sans family. I felt like I had been through the ringer but I enjoyed my mock-mojito that another blogger turned me on to. (1/2 sparkling water, 1/2 club soda, mint leaves, lime juice and I add a touch of Stevia to sweeten it. Yummy)
This was more than a slight craving. I was sooo close to saying screw it and just having a glass. Ha ha, like it would have been one glass. I really thought I could have 1 or 2 just to numb the emotions and that I would be able to get back on my horse today.
What kept me from drinking? This....
1) I was at day 28....for the love of goodness I want to get to day 30 so bad so I can read Sober Mummy's next Day 30 - 100 post. Seriously.
2) I didn't want to post that I slipped. I would have but I didn't want to do it. I didn't want others to know and I would have had to share.
3) I didn't want to disappoint myself.
4) I really like who I've become and I'm scared of pissing it all away.
5) I really want to get to day 100 and say I did it. (I realize door is open there but I'm hoping I can close it before then.)
I'm still taking it day by day. But a big thank you to this blogging community. Reading your blogs and the comments on mine is singularly the thing that has really kept me going. I hope to back off from it a bit at some point but this is the perfect support I need right now. So glad I found you all!!!
HD
Family occasions have the same effect on me too. Not sure I could handle one just yet. But well done for getting through that. I'm sure you can manage the holiday, keep taking time out from people if it gets too much. Blame holiday digestive issues! xx
ReplyDeleteDigestive issues also occur with family, haha.
DeleteWow. I am just blown away with what a truly awesome job you did riding that craving wave. They can be overpowering. You are a sober warrior. You're right, it would be so good to smooth through the family weirdness. I completely get that. But it would never end there, would it? You are going to feel so good hitting Day 30. Well done to you, dear HD. <3
ReplyDeleteMade it through another evening...me...sober warrior...lol
DeleteYou go girl!! Now you know you have it in you should another craving rear its ugly head! I am so proud of you!!!! You knocked the beast on its head yday!!! Xo
ReplyDeleteIt will help to know that craving passed!
DeleteGreat stuff! epic cravings are awful, forget taking it one day at a time, more like one minute! I am so pleased for you that you got through it. Family can be tough and all occasions cause stress. I bet you felt wonderful waking up the next day, sober and one day closer to 30! Xxx
ReplyDeleteYou are so right! When I woke up this morning, all bright eyed, it did feel good to remember I didn't give in! Thanks!
DeleteWell done for getting through that enormous craving! You are awesome! Day 30 is within your reach. Just think how disappointed in yourself you would have been if you drank and had to go back to day 1? Now you are one day away from 30. You are going to have to be really strong when you are away with your family. Lean on your husband for support and have someone you can text on hand. You are welcome to message me if you need to. I am on messenger. You can do this HD. A x
ReplyDeleteThanks, Angie, I may need that. Hubby can't go on trip so its just me and the family.....sigh. I will be okay!
DeleteI should change from HabitDone to SoberWarrior. That was a good title! Thanks for your support too!
ReplyDeleteThat's so good you got through it and did not cave. Hopefully you don't get another like that, but now you have got through one you know it will pass and your sobriety is still intact. Congratulations!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks!!!
DeleteOh I so understand the big cravings when it comes to family. Hard to admit that family can be a trigger. Isn't it amazing that even if the craving is huge, it passes. We just have to remember to wait. Early on I had one and someone told me to think through the drink
ReplyDeleteThink about what it will do for me now
But go well beyond that. What will happen an hour later? Two hours? Overnight? The next morning. It helped .
Yes, that's a good exercise I will implement. I'll be fine for the first drink but I won't stop at one, I know that. I may even stop at 2....for a few days...but then I would be back to every day and too many!
DeleteCan I be the first person to wish you congratulations on reaching day 30??!!?? (I did do the math right didn't I??!) You proved to yourself on Saturday that you can and WILL survive that vacation if you choose to. All that said, I think it would be wise to visualise ahead and try to plan out/counter balance any cravings you might have. Families were sent to test us!!! For now though.. well done!!
ReplyDeleteThanks! Yes I made it!! I am trying to visualize how I will handle the different issues and you are right, it is helpful. I'm thinking about what I will drink, when I will drink it and how I'll answer the questions from family about my not drinking!
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