Day 21
Today is the first time that I've felt a shift toward more long term thinking. I have 3 weeks to go until family vacation time.... with my family that is. I've done 3 weeks, now, I CAN do 3 weeks more, at the least.
(Hubby cannot attend due to work. This is actually okay because having two weeks of restful sleep, away from dog with small bladder, might be just what I need!)
I was saying last night that I didn't know if I could keep this up then. His answer was "well, if you decide to drink then you can just stop again when you get home."
Oh, if it were only that easy. That, I think, would fall under the term moderation. I tried so many times to do just that. Oh, to be able to pick up drink on vacation and put it down when I get home.
I will have 42 days under my belt by the time I leave....so close to 50. On vacation I'll hit halfway to 100.
Thinking of starting over after writing 21 blog posts just gives me the chills.
Maybe, just maybe, this blogging thing, this support structure has given me the wherewithal to actually make it through the vacation.
Maybe, just maybe, the distasteful thought of starting over is enough to keep me from wanting wine this vacation.
Maybe, just maybe, getting through the vacation AF would be such an accomplishment that thinking about it that way will be enough to work.
I know that I can never go back to routine drinking at home. That I'll never be able to moderate there. Unfortunately, there is still this thought that maybe, just maybe, I could drink on vacation, come home and be fine. I can jump right back into exercising, losing weight and overall feeling better.
Maybe, just maybe....but maybe not.
I'm siding with maybe not. Besides, we'll be on vacation at the same time. We can read each other's blogs about how we're doing!! Be my vacation sober buddy!!
ReplyDeleteOh great, no excuse now. Okay VSB, we'll do it!
DeleteI have been on 3 vacations since I've gone sober. (It just worked out that way with things that had been pre-planned for awhile.) I must tell you that the thoughts about drinking were much harder BEFORE the vacation than during it. Yes, it was still hard. And I went early on as well...Day 26 was my first one! I had mocktails and when it got really hard I read Jason Vale's book. (I also smoked because it was so hard for me...not the craving part...but I was so pissed that I couldn't drink!) I just listened to the bubble hours podcast "sober vacations." Why don't you listen to it before you go? It had some good advice! xo
ReplyDeleteYou give me hope. I will definitely listen to that podcast before I go!!! Thanks!
DeleteDear HD, just want to say you are kicking serious butt. I know what you mean about the blog helping. It's a tiny little element to keeping yourself accountable. It is so wise for you to be taking the time to plan ahead and anticipate difficulties you may encounter on vacation. Who knows- maybe it will be no biggie! Maybe you will cherish the fun AF drinks, the clarity, the pictures of you with a beaming sober smile, the mornings without hangovers, the sober driving, the being present with family, and tons of other stuff that will make it a truly awesome vacation for you, and make cravings small in comparison. I hope so and as always, sending much support your way. :)
ReplyDelete..and the fact that I would have to blog if I drink is probably the singular most important reason why I might not. Lol. Thanks for your support!
DeleteWe'll all be here for you, regardless of whether you're on vacay or at home in your routine! Just a new challenge--even if in a different setting.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your support, it's really nice to have found a group of folks to bond with online, all supporting each other, all coming from all over the world. Very cool!
DeleteI'd side with maybe not too. From past experience it doesn't stop when you get home. Probably not worth trying and I'm sure your holiday will be great without the booze.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I hear...not sure why I keep thinking I am invincible.
DeleteI was sober for 5 months and had a fuck it moment one day and drank. Thirteen months later I am still trying to get back on the wagon. Sounds easy, well I've done it before but actually it feels harder. Don't mess with it, just keep going forward one day at a time.
ReplyDeleteAww, GG, that is rough. Good to hear from you though. You are right, I am sure. Knowing you are watching to see how I am doing might just be enough. I am thinking about you too.
DeleteGG is right - it gets harder each time you quit, not easier. Because it's difficult to summon up that same energy and enthusiasm, plus every 'slip' dents your self belief. Sober holidays are awesome! It just takes a little while to adjust. You can do it!
ReplyDeleteI am more motivated to really try after reading these posts. Maybe I can tell myself "just get through one" and then go from there will work. Thank you.
DeleteGood idea! Think 'one holiday at a time', just like 'one day at a time' :-)
DeleteDear HD,
ReplyDeleteI have been on several sober vacations.
Not the easiest at times, but the last one was very fun!
I focused on the food, the beauty of Arizona, and being active.
Once you keep the ball rolling, it is so much better.
It's true, one reason I stay sober is I NEVER want to have to do this all over again!
xo
Wendy
I am hoping that is what motivates me too!
DeleteI am going away on holidays in October. Last year I had 23 days sober behind me when we went in March but as soon as I got here I drank. When we went there again in October, I had no days under my belt and didn't even bother trying. This time though, I will have nearly a year when we go away so I am looking forward to a sober vacation. It will be different but it will still be great, if not better! You can do it! A x
ReplyDeleteI think the issue is that I haven't looked further than that vacation. I need to try and stop thinking in terms of days and realize it's just a lifestyle decision....a choice!
DeleteI think the issue is that I haven't looked further than that vacation. I need to try and stop thinking in terms of days and realize it's just a lifestyle decision....a choice!
Delete