Other's Points to Ponder

Day 22

When I started my blog, I thought of so many things that I wanted to say to myself, to document, so that I didn't lose sight of why I was fighting this fight against alcohol.  Well, I'm through my initial list.

The beauty of these blogs is that someone always has something to say that is thought provoking, making me think "outside of my box", forcing me to look at myself in a new way.

I think referencing other's blogs is also good as it helps to expand the support network for them as well.

Point to Ponder #1:

Runningfromwine posted yesterday about Kindness and "Our Type"

At first I couldn't relate.  I realize there are a lot of "kind" people out there but I never thought of myself as one of them.  I like to be nice to people, I am always nice to people, assuming the best of them.  I am not intentionally mean and dislike "meanies", but I am not really what I would call a "pleaser."

I will speak my mind, direct others, take over leadership roles when there is a leadership void and as my brother says, basically be a miss bossy pants.   I'm the one who, deep down, always felt good getting on the freeway onramp first, getting out of the concert before others so I'm not stuck in traffic, getting in line at the airport just before the group of tourists could get in line before me....oh, and I wanted to be first on the airplane...

(Now you can understand the tendency I had to make sure I had my "share" of wine at dinner..)

Why?  I have no answer.  This is just my instinct.  I have focused on tempering this as I've aged.  I board more slowly now, I drive more conservatively, I don't worry about being "first" as much.  But the instinct is still there.

My son will hold the door open at a sporting event for 25 people to come out when I'm wanting to rush to the car (drives me nuts), he will ask if he can have the last Oreo cookie in the jar (I would have just taken it), he will be last on the bus, patiently waiting in line to board.  He can be bossy so he has an interesting blend of being strong and pleasing at the same time.  No wonder he is well-liked!

Every place I've ended up in life, I own.  My decisions, my actions. I can't blame anyone but me. Rarely do I ever feel controlled.  So where did I fit with her points?  It set me to thinking.....

I realize that for her type and mine, even though we are different personalities, wine helps both of us to "avoid".  Because I can be bossy and directing, wine mellows that.  Makes me less likely to conflict for the first 1 - 3 glasses, takes my edge off......for her it may make her less bothered by being controlled by others.

At glass 4+ though we likely merge.  She probably starts to stand up for herself and conflict with others and I start to get bossy again and self-righteous.  When the pleaser goes up agains bossy after 4+ drinks....watch out - fireworks!  It is interesting how alcohol affects us all and how we each use it.  Read and see what thoughts it provokes in you!

Point to Ponder #2:

Sothisissober just started a great blog.  She is at Day 45 today but didn't start her blog until a few days ago.  Her post today of anyone-for-bungy-jumping nailed dead-on what I was feeling about being on a roller-coaster.

When I was ending my first marriage, my wise friend told me "you may feel like you are on a roller-coaster, but at least now there is an end in sight.  That is better than the Merry-Go-'Round you were on with no ending..."

She was right.  And this applies to my journey right now.  I'll let you read the post because it encompasses this whole idea.

Here's to all of us getting off the Merry-Go-'Round and getting on the Roller-Coaster!

HD