Morning News Blues

Day 26

I'm always last in this sober universe....literally.  My day starts when many others are ending or have ended.  The Aussies and Kiwis (are these appropriate terms?) are asleep having already finished the day I am just beginning.  The Brits are facing wine o'clock as I face the morning.  Even the Eastern US is 3 hours ahead of me.

I'm falling in to a nice routine of posting in the morning and doing a run through of the blogs.  It's a peaceful and centering start to my day.  Then, in the afternoon, after the workday is finished, I grab tea and chocolate, read comments, and post my own comments on others blogs, before moving on to dinner preparation.  It's sets me to thinking and puts me in a proper frame of mind before wine o'clock.

One of the challenges to being so far West is that my morning news always seems to be full of doom and gloom.  Even on 9/11, I awoke, stumbled to the couch, and watched live as the second plane hit the World Trade Center.....I was bleary eyed. It was surreal.

When terrorist attacks occur further east, I often wake up to the horror.

I awoke this morning, thinking about what I might post today, and then I sat down at my computer, oblivious to what was going on in the east.  I opened up the news online since I hadn't turned on the television.  Immediately, I saw the news about the missing Egyptian Airliner and soon thereafter saw that the debris had been found.  While the actual cause is unknown, the thought that it could be another terrorist attack is chilling.  If it was an accident, it's still disturbing.

These events always remind us how fragile life is.  My heart always hurts for the lives that are lost in a tragedy like this, the lives of the families that were changed in an instant.  

I don't want to minimize what happened today, but bringing this back to alcohol since that's what this blog is for.....why do I choose to do things to myself that might deliberately end my life sooner when all the other risks in life could do that for me?  Others could take my life in an instant with no thought nor care to what my life amounted to or what I meant to anyone else.  My ability to be self-destructing is truly mind-boggling.

In the past, the news would have given me reason to drink, to tune out the depressing events as they transpired throughout the day.  To chat exhaustively about it with hubby during cocktail hour.  As the drinks progressed, the feeling of helplessness would grow, requiring more drinks to dull the fear...

Instead, today, I vow to spend the rest of the day feeling grateful.  I will let myself feel the joy of my life slowing transforming to be one that I won't regret should it ever be cut short.

Today I rejoice in how I'm feeling better about myself just for what I am accomplishing.  My face does look less swollen, less puffy.  A little brighter even.  I finally feel like I am getting that girl back that I was in high school and college before I graduated and married wine....the one who laughed joyfully and enjoyed every minute of life.

I get enough bad news in the mornings online, who am I to put myself or my family at risk of becoming the news? So glad to be moving forward!  Hugs to all who are trying!

HD