Summer begins!

Today is Memorial Day here in the States.  All gave some and some gave all!  So many really cool posts are showing up on Facebook about it.  It's nice to see reflection given to the day other than just having parties around the pool and grill.  Technology helps to redeliver the message of what holidays like Memorial Day, Veterans Day, etc are all about, and the true purpose behind our cause for celebrations....  The sacrifices that have been made by others do not go forgotten.

These holidays, and summer time in general, used to be significant wine and sometimes beer time for me.

I was reflecting on some of the pool parties I've had in years past that have been blow outs in regard to drinking.  Memorial Day BBQs, 4th of July bashes, Labor Day picnics, etc.

I also remember not remembering.  Sadly.  I have a point where I remember how some parties went but then the rest is a blur.  I know we all sat around entertaining each other with great stories, but I could never remember the stories the next day.

I think this summer will be more quiet.  Our schedule this year is somewhat driving this but I have no interest in hosting any more drinking blow-outs.  I still would like to host a party or two but it feels great to know that I can have my own drinks and I don't think I will be worried.  Here's why...

This weekend has been my first real time hanging out by the pool.  This would normally be a huge trigger.  I found myself thinking that I didn't want to go hang by the pool, at first, and had to give some thought as to why....

I realized it's because I would start drinking....a beer while I was relaxing at the side of the pool, then a glass of wine out of the pool, then hubby would keep pouring more wine while I relaxed back in the pool on the raft, etc.  More wine later in the jacuzzi.  I wouldn't get drunk/drunk but pleasantly buzzed and very, very tired.

Once I realized my thought pattern, I shook it off.  So yesterday, I still had an AF beer by the pool.  I still had a 1/2 club soda and 1/2 AF free chardonnay on the lounge chair.  By that point, though, and actually less calories later, I was filled up and didn't have the alcoholic buzz saying "pour more".  I had some water.

And I felt great!  Everything I had enjoyed by the pool, I still could.  Without the tired grogginess setting in, without the lack of motivation and without the midnight self-loathing about it all.

I have found that I am slowly allowing myself to actually keep my old habits, I'm just removing the alcohol part of the equation......so I don't feel like I'm missing out by stopping drinking.

I realize that this may not work for all and that triggers can be really hard and bad.  But for me, not having to "give up" or "deprive" myself of things/activities, that were normally associated with drinking, has been really beneficial to my happiness.  I can still do what I've always done, just with a clear head.  I don't need to drink to be happy!

HD