Counting Days

Day 30

I completely understand why Jason Vale said not to focus on counting days and I think that works for some people.  But not for me.  I've written previous about my time referencing need.

I NEEDED to count.  Getting to day 30, and the fact that I was counting to get here, ENABLED me to get here.

I'm an effort/reward type of gal.  I need to have goals to be motivated.  (Hence my earlier post on being bored in my 40s.)  I need to have something to look forward to.

This morning, I sat down and checked my previous blog post, reading comments.  Then, I checked my email to see if anyone had commented on older posts of mine, to read those comments as well.  Then I went through every one of the blogs I've added to my reading list to see what is new.

Then, and only then, did I let myself go to Sober Mummy's blog and read about Days 30-100.  This was my chocolate for the morning, my sumptuous treat. I prolonged opening it and reading it.  I wanted to savor the process.

It was full of very helpful information and I look forward to experiencing the things she wrote about.

Part of counting for me is that I need some short term goals.  I think introspection is important throughout the process but I need literal hurdles to leap.  I've enjoyed the blogging and getting to know myself better.  I like who I am becoming.

I'd like to back off of posting, to be more productive, but I'm just going to see where it goes.  This has been a necessary and critical component to my success at abstaining.

I remember when I had my son, I filed all his newborn pictures on my computer as Week 1, 2, 3 etc.  At some point I switched to Month 7, 8, 9 - probably because I was a bad mom and taking less photos....and now I file by Age 11, 12, 13 and all pics from the year go into one folder.

I'd like that to be how I count this AF thing.  I was on days until now.  I may try to move to counting weeks.  I'm starting week 5 and I know that once I complete week 14 I'll have 2 more days until 100!  Then, maybe I'll move toward months!

SM says it gets easier by Day 100.  I'm looking forward to that!  Thanks again to all who blog and comment.  It took this village to get me here to day 30!!

HD