Inner Child

A few weeks ago I remember having a craving very badly on the way home from work.  I observed the huge debate going on in my head.  I caved and went to the grocery store.  We did need some things, but I knew going would mean swinging through the wine section.  After I had wine that night I was like WTF was that all about?  I had been possessed was the only way it felt.

Annie Grace talks about treating your cravings like a child and then denying them so they don't win out.  Yesterday went like this.....

I had a little over an hour to kill while my son was at practice.  It was too far to go all the way home in between so I ran to the bank.  I knew I wasn't having wine then nor buying any for later so my inner child was silent.  But as children do, my inner child regrouped and said "brownie".  Oh FFS I don't usually eat many sweets and I can't tell you the last time I purposely bought a brownie or any other sweet from a bakery to eat at that moment.

My inner child screamed to go get a brownie after the bank.  The other part of brain said "go buy Easter wreaths for the front door, you have plenty of time."  Brownie! Wreaths! Brownie! Wreaths!  If it wasn't so comical I would have cried.

And of course...….I got the dang brownie....wreaths for another day.  I had to google where to get a brownie!  That felt so strange.  I went to the bakery, ordered an Earl Grey Tea and a milk and my brownie and sat down for a few minutes to eat and play scrabble on my phone.  It was actually very relaxing and I felt much less fatigued than I had earlier in the day.....well until I sugar-crashed and yawned again.

But I didn't drink and had no desire to after imbibing that sludge.

I did cave but this is the same debate that goes on in my head sometimes with getting lunch, starting exercise, and, of course, drinking wine.  It's nice to analyze it.  Work in progress.....I'm okay with caving to things better than wine but I want to learn how to change the outcome of these mental debates.

When hubs came home we sat outside, it was balmy, and we lit the tiki torches.  It was nice to not have alcohol.  I made drinks of ice, sparkling water, club soda and pomegranate vinegar.   I found these flavored drinking vinegars that are pretty good and give that "bitter" sense I like in a drink.  I made the drinks not because I would have preferred wine but just because it felt refreshing.

A nice evening.  Day 5 today!