Day 4

Time gets away from me but I guess that's a good thing.  This morning I feel very tired.  I think I'm sleeping okay but nonetheless I feel fatigued.

My hot flashes came back.  They aren't as bad as they were last year at this time, swooping in every 20 minutes.  These seem to be more obnoxious at night and less noticeable during the day, maybe every hour.  And they feel different.  More of a "sick" flushy feeling than super hot.  Interesting.  Hoping that not drinking will help to ease these back under control.  Not sure if it was coincidental or not but starting Grape Seed Extract last summer just totally got rid of them.  I had been intermittently taking my vitamins when they came back this time so I hope they go away soon.

I know some women just get them for years.  I can't take HRT nor herbal "estrogenics" so I have to be careful.  Oh well, aging is a process.

I'd still rather be 49 with all my life experiences than be back at 25 with what I didn't know.   Then again, if I never drank would my life have been different?  Would I have been a different person?  Never know and not worth fretting about I guess.

No desire to drink last night but, then again, I was involved in sports through the witching hour.  Teen sports were probably my saving grace over the last year with enough built in times for no drinking that kept me from imbibing every night.

The challenge is always those evenings when hubs is home and I don't "have" to get things done.

Tonight the hubs is out on business so getting a cup of tea and reading a book with no distractions will be a treat.

Been reading the Annie Grace book.  Hubs finally downloaded it today and says he'll read it.  I know he will "cheat" on this process a bit with other props but it's his journey and this is mine.  You can lead the horse to water....

Still going to eat more mindfully than normal but not being as restricted today due to this feeling of exhaustion.  Hopefully I pep up in a bit.  Off to work.

Mainly just writing to keep myself accountable.