June 5

Cravings are all the same......

So.. yesterday I had a "fit" bowl in the freezer at my office, waiting for lunch.  Around 11:30 the cravings for fast food started.  OMG they were strong.  The pull toward my car and Jack N The Box (no commentary please) was crazy.  I kept thinking "okay, when I finish up this task I'll just go!", fudge my dietary intentions and the frozen lunch can just wait for another day.  (note that this lunch has been in there for a week or so which shows my previous lunch cravings won out...)

I had to pause and laugh because the process was EXACTLY what I go through with the wine witch in the evenings.  Cravings, just are cravings.  Addiction is addiction.  (In a reverse way I go through the same thing with exercise.  A long drawn out process where I talk myself out of getting moving.)

I almost caved on the food front especially since I am NOT drinking right now.  Had I known I was going to have wine at night I would have had my "fit" bowl and saved the calories for cocktail hour.  But knowing I wasn't going to have wine made the lunchtime battle that much harder.

I was given a crutch though in regard to lunch.  Some film company was filming near my office so the streets were packed with people.  Going out and navigating the obstacle course they presented was probably the thing that pushed me over back to my frozen entree.  Oh well, at least I never went for the fast food. I need to take pride in baby steps.

Last night was another protected evening with a sporting event so no drinking.  Unfortunately a bit of ice cream snuck in after we got home but, hey, I slept great! 

I did exercise yesterday after I blogged.  30 minutes on my elliptical....I'm good with that.  Did my training workout this morning, did some work and just taking a tea break right now.

I'm frustrated that my weight has gone up since working out but I'm hoping that's just muscle building.  Unfortunately the fat doesn't seem to be melting off yet so now the muscle is just pushing out under the fat.  Oh well.  I've told myself no weight judgement in June.  Just keep plodding along and as long as I do something, anything, each day, I'm good.  It's finally warm enough for swimming so I'm looking forward to adding that in a few times a week.  Oh, and my knees are looking better.  At least I can see them better as my quads are lifting!  Yay!

I realized I have my annual blood draw tomorrow for the dreaded annual physical.  I had thought it was not for a few weeks until I was reviewing my calendar yesterday.  Well, that makes tonight an easy no drinking night. 

Regarding the blood work, though, I have a feeling I'm doomed this year.  Something is bound to be screwed up....thyroid, cholesterol, sugars....something!  I know I am about to get busted, face the fire of what my habits have made me.  Although being in peri menopause, I guess it's natural to feel that things are all messed up.  I just ended almost 6 months of hot flashes so lordy knows whats next on this adventure train.  Thank goodness they ended as I started working out....hmmm....maybe because of that......ssshh..     Hair seems to not be thinning anymore and face seems to be clearing up.  It just sucks to have more acne than my 15 year old son!!

Tomorrow night is going to be a tough-y with no sporting event.  Fingers crossed for Wed night!