June 11 - another near miss

Geez......another year, another annual physical, and I still haven't been outed by my bloodwork. Phew.

My overall cholesterol went up by 8 points and my LDL is still a bit high but my HDL, the good one, actually went down by 5 points and is still normal... and my triglycerides went down from 118 to 76.

I looked back at past results and back in 2010 my triglycerides were 49 and then they rocketed to 116 by 2012, haven't been below 100 since.  And my Albumin which reflects liver function is 4.4, same as last year.  Healthy range is 3.6 to 5.1.

What does this mean?  I have made some progress on this non drinking thing.  While I only had 125 days not drinking in 2016, I have been hyper aware since then that I have a problem with alcohol.  I have reduced my drinking and done periods of up to 2 weeks without alcohol but then I gradually slip back to drinking a bottle a day, occasionally more.  I'm learning how I feel drinking and not drinking.  Gradually, I feel that my mind is changing more to desiring the non drinking side of things.

I'm so glad that at the end of 2015 I found Sober Mummy's blog again and then started reading all the books so that I was finally ready to try quitting in April of 2016.

For this June, both the hubs and I committed to not drinking.  I'm not saying I'll never drink again but I love not drinking and I think I'll bounce back and forth for awhile.  I don't want to be drinking daily so if I see that start to happen I will just stop again.  I like gradually reinforcing this new habit of not drinking.  It helps to blog too.

Anyway, I just need to get through June and then I can re-evaluate. That's what I told myself in 2016 and by the time I got to 30 days it was easier to just keep going.

For what it's worth, I definitely had to quit back in 2016 or I was going to keep escalating in the wrong direction and I knew that.  I think there are many out there who haven't hit rock bottom, we just realize that what we are doing isn't healthy.

I enjoyed a good hike yesterday and today am very sore but it feels great!  Also enjoyed the jacuzzi again with more alcohol free wine.  Hubs is going back out to store today to stock up again for us.

It's funny, this not drinking thing.....I am less stressed about relationship issues, financial issues and not generally feeling as down as I realized I was before.

I'm also starting to enjoy cocktail hour with a substitute.  I know some don't like having "cocktails" because the process can be tough to get through, or triggery, but I don't want to give up that time.  I love sitting down and watching sunsets together with a glass of something in hand.  Or sitting in front of the fireplace in the winter with a glass in hand.  Years ago I switched from regular soda to diet, I've switched from sugar to Stevia, vegetable oil to olive oil, white bread to wheat or rye.....why not alcohol to something alcohol free?  Cheers!