I am definitely doing the 100 days starting now.
Three nights ago I had those 2 glasses.
Two nights ago I had 2 more glasses.
Last night I'm not sure how much white wine I consumed. Hubby didn't realize how much until I went to bed. He didn't notice until that point, that's what is scary. And I don't remember going to bed.
I know I drank a bottle +, I remember eating dinner and watching our tv show and then turning tv off to head to bed and then that's it. I don't think I drank all of the 2nd bottle but for whatever reason I topped it off with water and stuck it back in the fridge. Not even sure why. Found it this morning. It's as if I was deluding myself in my subconscious state before I went to bed. There is no more white in the house now.
I knew I had the evening "available" for this. I wasn't driving and there were no kids around to embarrass myself.
But! Earlier in the evening a sick friend's mom called me to see if I had heard from the friend. I had not. She didn't want me to go over yet and will let me know later today if I need to do a welfare check. I realized, though, by then I had had 3 glasses of wine and there was no way I could drive over there if she had needed me to. That thought was sobering in of itself. I think after that call, I just let go. I think I realized at that point that I need to just stop trying and it was like I embarked on a last hurrah.
If I keep drinking in the evenings. I will keep getting fat and, worse, I will set myself up for something that I WILL regret.
I'm going to do as A Better Path recommended and do this 100 days and then see what I am thinking. Drinking will just not be an option for these next 100. I know I can do it, just need to get my head straight on this.
I'm going to do as SamKD does and blog every day even if I don't have much to say. I find that when I drift away from the blog, I can get swept completely away from my goals.
100 days will be so much easier than this constant head game going on in my head.
Here I go.