Today my saving grace was my reflection.....
We had a dinner party to go to with 4 other couples. I was worried about how I would not drink.
After getting ready for dinner and stressing about how fat I looked in everything and how many clothes in my closet looked horrible on me, I truly had no desire to drink. All I could think about was how drinking wine would just pour crap into my already protruding belly!
But....I wasn't sure how I could get out of drinking. I even finally decided that if they poured me a glass of white I would take it, have a few sips and switch to water. THAT would have been a test for sure.
When we got there, however, everyone was drinking red and I don't really like red. I just told the hostess I quit because of my hot flashes and all was good. I had declared it and I stuck with my water all night long. And it was fine.
I wasn't sure how I would do because we didn't know anyone but the host and hostess. I was worried about socializing without alcohol, and it was fine. In fact at one point I sort of felt buzzed. Must have been gas from all the bubble water. But I didn't seem to have any problem talking to others and it was fun! I didn't make a fool of myself, I was able to drive us home and I observed and listened a lot more than I normally would have.
As others have remarked upon, I, too, noticed how little everyone drank. One woman kept pouring herself red wine and might have been a little tipsy but nothing overtly so. All the others moderated and switched to water after a few glasses. Conversation didn't get rowdy and I enjoyed all the topics going on around me.
The fact that the house had mirrors everywhere didn't hurt. I kept catching a glimpse of myself and felt a bit depressed. But that's okay, at least I wasn't drowning my sorrows then with more wine.
I'm not even really fat. I feel fat, that is the problem. My friend would love to get "down" to my weight so I can't complain. I'm healthy looking but as someone else blogged about, I think I look a lot better than I do so catching my reflections really bum me out. Trying on my clothes really bum me out.
I'll deal with that slowly but surely. I probably could have had that glass of wine and been done but then I would have felt like I had let myself down with one measly glass and it wouldn't have been worth it!!! Or.....I might have had an extra glass....or worse, more. So glad I didn't and nice to not have really fought any cravings as a part of the evening. They will come again, I know, but getting a sober dinner party under my belt was nice.
I did hike and swim today, didn't overeat and didn't have any cookies or chocolate.... so did my part against the onslaught of belly fat.
Done with Day 4.