I've been wandering through my blog from last year.
This journey back through time made me look at comments and realize how many bloggers, that I followed, have made like Elvis and "left the building" so to speak. I don't think relapse is always involved, just a gradual transition and a need to move on, to not be so preoccupied with this universe.
Since summer is a time for high school reunions, it made me think of an analogy...so bear with me...
Last year when I started my blog, I was a Freshman in High School.
(For those in other countries, here in the USA I have grown up with Grades 9 through 12 as High School. 9th graders are Freshmen, 10th are Sophomores, 11th are Juniors and 12th are Seniors. Then, we graduate at age 17 or 18 and generally move on to College if we are going to go right away.)
I felt like I was a newbie last year. I looked up to those further along the sober path. I read as much as I could make time for and gathered as many sober ideas as I could to store in my addled brain or at least write down. The more senior had such tricks on how to live and alcohol free life and conveyed a worldly confidence.
I was watching the lives of those Sophomores, Juniors and Seniors. I loved following their stories, seeing what strength they showed in dealing with everyday life...even when they themselves may have sometimes said they were failing.
The Sophomores were starting to get it together. They had been where I was. They had tried and failed and tried again. They were focused more on their own journeys and passing on passive advice by recounting their adventures in their blogs. I learned from their stories.
The Juniors had substantial sober time under their belt or they have successfully moderated. Many fewer of the latter in this blogging world but they do exist. They were more in a position to actually offer active advice on what worked for them. They blogged but maybe not as often.
The Seniors were busy with their lives. They would drift in to offer sage advice from time to time and update us on how they were doing but blogging became less frequent.
A certain number have disappeared. Perhaps they relapsed but I think many of them just went off to College and may not need this world anymore. I remember heading off to College and I really never looked back to high school. High School was an important time in my life where I grew up and learned a lot of good life experiences, worked through a lot of angst. But once I left I had no desire to go back. These blogs may very well be something people just end at a certain point.
However, there are a few more players. Certainly there are those who have taken time off from school and may come back to try again. Or those who dropped out. But there are also the guidance counselors who stuck around. There are also the alumni who come back and DO visit from time to time.
In my world Sober Mummy is like the Principal of my school, the head of it. I don't deal with her one on one a lot but she is ever present in my life. It was she who made me decide to attend this school. I view Anne Ainsobriety and Un-Tipsy Teacher as my guidance counselors.....always present, and who have offered gentle guidance and nurturing from the beginning. There are many more that I could call out as school Adminstrators but I don't want anyone to feel left out and I think many of us have been commented on from these particular 3 and would agree. There are also a bunch who commented on me from the beginning, who are doing so well in their sobriety and who come back occasionally to comment or to post on their own blogs......the alumni. And then there are my classmates. The ones who, like me, are still trying to figure out the best path.
This Freshman year is not necessarily a calendar year like real high school. I view getting into this high school as the awareness of one having a problem that needs to be acknowledged. The graduation from middle school was the knowing that there was an issue and the start of doing something about it. Some classmates come whipping in and out of Freshman year and some even whip through the upper grades right on out through sober graduation rather quickly. Others of us hang around as Freshmen for awhile, watching and learning from the more senior at the school.
Just remember, this road to graduation in our virtual high school is unique for each of us. There is no set path like real school, no definitive answer as to when we must pass from one grade to the next. We get to do it when we are ready.
I feel like I'm finally beginning my Sophomore year....Day 7 here.