Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Forward progress

All good here.  I wrote a long post about something today.  A realization about myself and perhaps why I really want to numb out with alcohol.  In writing it, I went somewhere that surprised me and I realize I'm not ready to write about it.  Ahh, the power of writing.

I have decided to go see my therapist over it.  It has to do with body image and some hangups from my past.  I think I'll use therapy for a bit to get through the past stuff and maybe revisit my coach to work forward from that point.  No wonder I make no progress in this area after thinking through some things this morning.

It is amazing what a clear head gives you.

Last night I munched on a few chips/salsa and then had one AF beer during cocktail hour.  He had red wine and it was no bother to me.

My favorite non drinking thing is making dinner.  Too often I would sit at cocktail hour too long, sometimes too long as to miss the dinner making window so we'd order pizza or have junk stuff that was on hand.

The thing about drinking is that it was automatic weight management for a point.  I kept gaining over the years but very slowly because wine kills my appetite.  I lost count of how many times I would drink a bottle of wine when my son was younger and not feed myself.  I would make him his dinner, kid food, like chicken nuggets and broccoli and cheese or some such, (he always got a veggie) but then I would skip dinner entirely.

When husband moved in it became harder to manage my weight.  We started doing real sit down dinners every night, which I love but managing calories became harder.  I tend to cook comfort food and I'm not very good with portion control.

Anyway, enough for now, work in progress.  At least I'm cooking when not drinking and that is a good thing!

Day 2 without any alcohol at all
Day 7 without any white wine or too much of any type of alcohol
Day 16 without any alcohol out of last 20 days



  1. Wow, you hit the nail on the head with me: alcohol kept my weight manageable. I also drank instead of eating, or to greatly reduce my intake, and so food management had to become a (later) part of recovery. I allowed myself tons of sugar for almost an unlimited time, but that resulted in crazy mood swings and extra calories. I am still trying to get a handle on seeing food as nourishment instead of as comfort or as another addiction. And drinking instead of eating GREATLY increases the chances of addiction, I now know.

    Thanks for the insight, and I'm so glad you are hanging in there! ��

  2. Oh gosh my food issues were all wrapped up in/with my drinking too. I'm still sorting it all out. Good post. :)

  3. Sounds like you are really digging down into some meaningful factors that have influenced your drinking which can be tough to uncover. I love how you are now counting, 16 out of 20, being rightly proud of what you have achieved rather than an all or nothing approach.

    Interesting what you say about wine being appetite suppressant, for me it is the opposite; one glass of red and suddenly it is "where's the cheese". Good luck with therapy and hope it isn't too rough a ride.

    1. Yes, if I drank a bottle a night, I would skip dinner. If I drank enough to get a bottle 1/2+ then I would eat like crap, and too much, the next day so it actually did work both ways for me.

  4. 16 out of 20 is great! If wine killed my appetite I'd probably still be drinking. Wine makes me eat...a lot. When I don't drink I eat so much less. I hate the weight gain that comes with drinking. It's awful. You are doing really well!

    1. Thanks, I am determined to blow this belly away!

  5. It is good to catch up with you. I have missed reading your blog. My sister has maintained her slim figure for years with the 'help' of alcohol!! She drinks and it replaces the need to eat. For me it had the opposite effect. Alcohol made me very very hungry! Anyway, nine months sober now and slowly losing weight.........hope to continue like this. I wish you all the best. You can do it xxx Jenna

    1. Well, hello, there you are! I've missed you! I still think you should blog again. I always thought you wrote very thought provoking posts. So awesome to hear you are 9 months sober, AND losing weight! Thanks for your support!

  6. Wine was my appetite suppressant too. Many times I had liquid dinner Friday nights.

    The food does work itself out, but for a while it is easiest to just focus on not drinking. I know most of us all or nothing thinkers don't like that, but it's true....

    Take care