Somehow, I will get through this evening.
Somehow, I will not ask my hubby to go get white wine.
Somehow, I will make it through the craving, it's 4:39 right now.
I.......want.......white......wine.......really badly! (or is it really bad?...my grammar stinks)
Okay, I'm back. 5pm.
1) I told my hubby I wanted white wine soooo bad. He looked at me as if not sure what to do. I said "but I'm not going to have any." There, I said it out loud.
2) Then we talked about why. Why I didn't want it (weight, health) and Why I did want it. He said go eat some chocolate. I said I'm fat but I already ate some anyway. :-( And, I said, he was missing my point. I just wanted to know WHY I wanted the wine and WHY just white wine? I didn't want red. I wasn't craving beer and wasn't craving hard liquor....WHY, WHY did I want Chardonnay?
I wasn't feeling really stressed. I feel pretty happy (other than fat) and don't feel bummed about anything in particular. I process out loud, nothing bottled up in this ole head.
His answer was that I wanted the rush. Oh please, I said, that makes me sound like a junkie. But I think he's right.
I wanted that mellow feeling, that immediate numbing.
2) So I left the room and went and ate some chips and salsa and we talked more over that bowl in the kitchen.
3) Now I'm back and I'm dying for an O'douls...AF beer. Lol, I can't wait to sit on the sofa for our cocktail hour with my near beers. My tastebuds have done a complete shift. After the spice of the salsa I want the taste of beer, alcohol or no alcohol doesn't bother me either way.
Note to self: forget chocolate......go buy more tortilla chips and spicy salsa for future evenings.....I may be on to something here......
I think I made it. Day 8, done!