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Wednesday, May 22, 2019

Familiarity breeds contempt.....if you aren't careful...

This article was just funny timing based upon my last post but very good I thought!

CLICK HERE 
or use this link

http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/a27528206/relationship-advice-annoying-habits-familiarity/

It made me really think and give me some new ways to frame some of my relationship frustrations.

It also reminded me of Gottman's Four Horses that will kill a relationship:
Criticism
Contempt
Defensiveness
Stonewalling

Those are worth reading about.

I'm too critical, sometimes show contempt for his habits, I'm not defensive and I rarely stonewall.

He is not very critical, nevers shows me contempt, is very defensive and has been known to stonewall.

What a pair we are!

This link, for anyone interested is a good description of each and the antidote for each:
CLICK HERE or  https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-the-antidotes/

The above relationship stuff is a good example of what I want to still work on.  Lately, I've been moderately grouchy and have crossed some lines in criticism and contempt.  Fortunately the hubs has been very patient knowing I am trying not to drink but also am going through peri menopause.  Bless his heart.  Time for me to rein it in and regroup though!

I have now finished 30 days, today being Day 31.  I feel like a baby still in pre-school, just testing the waters of kindergarten.

I know I'm not ready to drink and don't want to.  I'm sure I'll test the waters at some point but right now I have so many other things about me that I want to explore that, while having nothing to do with drinking, will never get explored if drink every day and numb any feelings.

I must say I am really proud that I did the 30 days, many days only due to sober buddy Lia, and have had 45 evenings of the past 52 without any alcohol!  That is definitely a record since 2016.

Onward ho!

HD







3 comments:

  1. Congratulations on your 30 days, HD!
    xo
    Wendy

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm committed to us!!! Hahahaha!! We can do this, we are getting better and better.

    ReplyDelete