My Lists

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Balancing the Blog

For me, blogging is a stress relief.  However, if my life is unorganized or chaotic, I find that it goes to the bottom of my list. Hence why I dropped off after beginning vacation and even after returning home.

When I first started blogging, it was because I was being very organized to this whole quitting alcohol thing.  Every morning I would grab my tea, blog my thoughts, read others blogs, and comment accordingly.

Vacation threw me off.  Well, that and having my car totaled didn't help.

I was frustrated that I couldn't find time to blog, really couldn't think of anything to say and didn't really have much energy for commenting.

I understood that I needed to get organized again.  I was in a huge funk last week.  But the new car is now in the garage, I have done enough grieving for my old one, the bills that I neglected are now all paid and caught up, the suitcase has finally been unpacked and the laundry has been done.  I spent quality time with family over the weekend and I am ready to begin anew.

I feel like I am back in a "zone" of some sort.

For the first 50 days, I needed to blog everyday. I had so much I wanted to say to myself, to document my journey.  Early on I thought about quitting alcohol every moment.  All day long.

One day that evaporated.  It's as if it culminated in this one huge craving and, ever since I worked through that, all my desire to talk to myself anymore, too much, about it, just disappeared.  I've posted a few things this week but now I'm feeling empty again.

The only thing I can think of is that this is how I have approached a lot of things in life.  I was really into violin until I wasn't.  I got really into piano lessons until I quit.  I played home video games in intermediate school until I was done.  I flew planes and wanted to be a pilot, until I didn't.  I gave all of these things full energy.....for awhile.

I think that quitting alcohol became one of these pursuits.  I was giving 2 hours + per day to the blogging universe between drafting my own posts, reading all the blogs I was following and commenting on many of them.  I thought of not drinking....all the time....Then I flamed out.

Suddenly, it seemed like a chore to think of something to write.  A burden to go through all the blogs.  And yet, I find many posts to be inspiring.  I feel like I have made blogging friends and want to nurture those friendships. But I felt overwhelmed.

I had to take a break.  I don't need the day to day support for myself anymore but I want to be there for others just as many supported me.

The feeling of being in overwhelm-dom lifted a bit once I got all my tasks done.  I feel my mind opening up again.  I just need to find a balance with keeping up with this supportive sober universe while not feeling overwhelmed by getting behind in other tasks or being distracted by too much thinking about not drinking.

I would like for this to have a continued place in my life.  Not just be a fad that I tried until I lost interest.  I definitely don't want "quitting drinking" to be a fad of mine either!!!

HD


15 comments:

  1. I think finding your own pace with blogging makes a lot of sense. Slowing down with the blogging doesn't have to mean this was all a fad. For me, in the earlier days of being sober I really needed a lot of online contact. Now I am here a lot sometimes and sometimes hardly at all, but keeping in touch with the sober community helps keep me focused on some of the long-term change that goes with being sober. Here's to you figuring it out, and to being sober! xo

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    1. Thanks. Naturally, since I wrote all that last night...here I am this morning. Haha. Guess I'll just go with the flow and not worry about frequency. Sometimes I may feel the need, sometimes not.

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  2. I found I blogged and commented daily in the first month or so of sobriety. I needed it daily because the noise in my head was too loud and i couldnt stop thinking about drinking and not drinking. However,lately it has calmed down. I still need to blog but just not daily. I read and comment on other blogs more. It's finding the balance HD and as we grow in our sobriety that balance needs tweaked but in no way does it mean we don't need this soberverse. Xx

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    1. You are right as usual. Blogging does help with the noise in my head.

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  3. Oh yes, you sound like me. I get right into something, then the novelty wears off and I'm done with it. I think the blog will always be here, blog when you feel like it and don't if you don't want to. PDTG x

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    1. Thanks for your support, so nice to know you are here when I need it!

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  4. I'm finding life with a new pup is getting in the way of checking, commenting and writing! Whether you post once a day or once a year, it'll always be good to hear how things are going. Glad all is sorted with the car x

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    1. Seriously, would you please share the puppy stories? You have to be having some hilarious moments that are much more fun than talking about not drinking! But I hope that is going well too!

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  5. Dear HD,
    I needed to write everyday when I first started getting sober, too!
    It was one of the most important things I did.
    Now, I still want to write, but just not as often.
    Connecting to al the wonderful people here, is a gift.
    You help me! And I hope I help you!
    But, it can be overwhelming at times.
    I want to read all the blogs, and I just can't.
    When I was at my mom's for 2 weeks, everything was thrown off, too.
    The most important thing through all of this is, if it helps you stay sober, keep doing it! Maybe once a week, everyday, it doesn't matter.
    Big Hugs!
    And Happy New Car, And Happy Laundry Done!!!
    xoxoxo
    Wendy

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  6. Thanks, Wendy, I really do appreciate all your comments. Thank you for taking the time, glad to know I somehow help you too!

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  7. I understand the need to write every day. There is so much going on. I bet the longer you go AF, the less is there to say. However, any story to me is an inspiration and motivation to keep on going. So just write when you feel like it. Especially if it helps you too.

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    1. Glad my ramblings might help! Glad you are blogging again too, hang in there!!

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  8. I get where you are coming from. Do what feels right.

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  9. I get it, but please never feel obligated to post or comment on my posts or anything like that. If you fade away I would miss you, but hopefully you would be fading because you are too caught up in the awesome world of not drinking! :) <3

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  10. I'm an overly enthusiastic interest person too. All in...and then it fades.
    I worried a bit both sobriety and yoga were going to be flash in the pan interests...but instead I changed.
    I'm no longer constantly seeking. I'm being.

    Anne

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