Blogging Angels

Many thanks to all who commented on my post yesterday!  Without knowing you angels exist, I would not have made it through Saturday.

I know, for a fact, that I never would be where I am today (Day 44 but who is counting) without all this outpouring of support.

I never, ever, thought I would blog.  I thought... how embarrassing to put my true thoughts in writing for strangers....but a strange thing happened.....I turned 180 degrees in my thinking.

My hubby blogs and I never understood it.  The majority of  his friends on facebook are people he has never met in person whereas, until recent, I had met, in person, every one of mine.  I couldn't understand how a virtual universe of friends could be beneficial.  I told him he was hiding.

Then I started reading all the blogs and spent months doing so without ever commenting.....and still drinking I might add.  I don't know why I was scared to comment but I was.  Then, when I decided to comment I just dove full in and decided to do my own blog.  What the heck!

Blogging is a good fit for me.  Once my goal became to stop drinking I became suddenly aware of why I didn't want to deal with it in person.  I didn't want to talk about it with my friends, didn't want to admit I had this weakness when others seemed to handle it.  I'm not good at group meetings and didn't think AA would be a good fit.

(I went to a divorce care group one time and almost slit my wrists at the end of the evening.  I think some groups must be very good and supportive but I couldn't handle a room full of women feeling sorry for themselves and bitching about their exes.  AA would be different, I know, with people wanting to move forward but, after the other experience I just couldn't bear talking about myself in public. Maybe I will give it a try someday.)

I recently accepted a friend request from one of the bloggers in this universe who has been very supportive.  I was more proud to accept that request than others from those I have met in person.  I think that says something about this group.

They (whoever they are, I always refer to them....) say that writing down your goals makes them more likely to become a reality.  Well, my goal was to just stop drinking too much.  No real time frame, I just didn't like what it did to me, who I became, etc.

But the fact that I wrote down everything I wanted to about alcohol forced me to see that stopping drinking needed to be my new reality.  It was too easy to forget what I didn't like it about it unless I wrote it down.

And the other bloggers.....oh my....they constantly remind me, through their own stories or supportive comments on my posts, as to why I don't need to experiment with moderation.  It's hard for me to take another person's word or experience regarding something without trying it myself.  But reading post after post about why I should not try to drink again has been the single reason I have not tried it.  I know that.

I have no idea if this post will help anyone or really reach a different audience.  However, if you are having trouble stopping drinking and are really wanting to quit, maybe give the blogging a try?  I and others are ready and willing to read and offer support.  That support has been so important to me.

Blogging definitely helps with accountability to this process of quitting drinking!

I do know that my feelings about alcohol have not been my reason for not starting again.  It's completely due to, 100%, this blogging universe of which I am now a member.

Thank you, angels!!

HD