Ending the escapism

Day 6 and I'm still blogging.  Oh well, I'll just go with it......

I just read Jim's blog and he gave some really great reasons to quit drinking now during quarantine.

I already said that I think my health concerns are what pushed me back into sobriety this time.  After giving it some thought, I realize that I have two other reasons for quitting.

1) I don't want to waste this really special and bizarre time of my life, this quarantine thing.  I just cannot stomach emerging out the other side the same as or even worse than I have been.  I have stopped exercising, was relaxing with wine every night and too much of it, eating poorly and not working on anything to further my mind.

I need to come out of this strange time in our lives with some self improvement.  With the economy crashing down hard, my drinking seems like the biggest loser habit ever.

2) My other reason to quit now is also about not wasting quarantine but in a different way.  While I don't drink too much socially, it's always something social that triggers me to start drinking again and then I start drinking at home again.  Maybe a friend or family member comes over and I have a glass of wine,  maybe I go out to dinner and have a glass of wine, go to a movie and have a glass of wine...…..and then it's like the gates have opened and I'm out running in circles again, drinking at home.  So I hope to gain some time behind me before I experience a social trigger.  I have this protected time to gain some brain muscle memory of not drinking.

I keep re-reading my old blog posts from 2016 and I am so disgusted with myself.  For the rest of the day I'm going to focus on other things that have been really positive over the past years.  In fact, darnit, identifying my struggle with alcohol and at least working on it is huge in my book. Pat on back!

I used alcohol to cope during my first 50 years.  Amazing how unnecessary that probably was.  But still grateful for my life and the times I have had.  Those of you who have read my blog know that my favorite singer is the lead Parrothead and one of his songs sings of life, "some of it's magic, some of it's tragic, but I had a good life all of the way."  Even Jimmy Buffett said he doesn't drink margaritas anymore, doesn't do weed and barely eats carbs.  Granted he has made millions on promoting escapism but good for him.  Maybe we all just get to a point where escapism with alcohol doesn't seem as necessary anymore.  I can still escape to the island life in his songs though!

Here's to making it even better these next 50 years!  (no, it's not my birthday but given that I'm halfway through this year it's time to turn the ship around!)

HD