Exit Alcohol, Enter Hypochondria

No, I don't really think I am a hypochondriac but I am certainly more worried about my health than before.  I think this comes from a deep down, perpetual worry that I really screwed up my body and chances for a long, healthy life by being so careless with wine consumption over the past years.

I never worried about my health while I was drinking.  (I've read others blogs who were just the opposite.)  I think I just tuned it all out.  I didn't want to think, or acknowledge, that anything I felt amiss, could possibly be from my own actions....so I just didn't think about it.

Truth be told, one of the main reasons I stopped drinking was that my finger joints started hurting.  Just the tips, DIP joints they are called, out of the blue and for no apparent reason.  Occasionally one or the other will ache very bad in the middle of the night, although that has subsided, I think, since I quit all alcohol.

But the finger joints are very stiff.  They don't really bother me when I type and I have full range of motion.  Just a stiffness that I have to sort of work out from time to time.  Rest of hand doesn't really hurt, wrist doesn't hurt, it's just an odd pain.

This was probably the catalyst to stopping alcohol but I was ready at that time.  I had had a headache for most of the fall and winter although that had gone away when I stopped.  But that started back up in June.  I still think it could be allergies, could be sinus.

Also have a little lump in my breast I'm concerned about.  I have had regular mammograms, last one in January, all normal.  Had one abnormal one about 6 years ago, biopsied the lump (different one) and it was a benign cyst.  I am very cystic they say.  So I'm not all that concerned and have a gyn appointment this week so will get doc's opinion.

I posted earlier about getting an MRI for the headaches.  So the MRI was all clear, no tumors or sinus polyps, but now doc wants to do an MRA.  Never had heard of it but I guess an MRI might not pick up an aneurysm whereas an MRA will.  Might as well be safer than sorrier I guess.

Oh, and the hot flashes that started exactly when I had the MRI but there is supposedly no relation.  I still am holding out in disagreement.  So maybe the MRA will cancel out the MRI and I won't get them anymore....or else I will have to admit that the fact that I have hot flashes, am 2 weeks late on my monthly, and am not pregnant according to any test might, just might, mean I have to admit I am peri-menopausal.

I don't know if others have gone through this pre-occupation with health since quitting drinking but I think I just need to sit through it.  I think I'm about through the list of horribles that could keep me from seeing my son grow into manhood!  Hopefully!

Well, that is off my chest.  Will try not to think of my finger (probably just overuse from all my computer work), my headaches (sinus or allergies), my hot flashes (duh, getting older) nor my boob bump (will get it checked.)

Hey, at least drinking is the last of my thoughts!  I was at two dinner parties this week and it was no big deal to have my AF drinks.  For some reason I think of white wine and then think of a headache...I suppose it's because I HAVE a headache but I think the association is working and it's killing any wistful longing.  I'll take it!  Maybe my hypochondria is my way of hanging in there through Day 100 (7 days until I get there!) so that I get so far along I just want to keep going!!