Boring musings at 12 weeks

Just blogging where I am....  I need to do make some goals and I figured maybe if I can write them down here, baby steps-like, then I will keep them.  Blogging helped me be accountable to not drinking so maybe it will work for some goal setting accountability as well.  Pardon the boredom to any readers.

Physical Fitness:  For the first 6 weeks, I did great.  Worked out every day in some fashion and did strength training for an hour twice a day.  At 8 weeks went on my trip and for the next two weeks I walked 4 miles along a beach every morning.  Let strength training go by the wayside.  Got home, got into car accident, went into funk and zilch on the exercise for the last 4 weeks!
                 
New goal!!  Today I will go for a 45 minute swim and do some resistance in the pool.

Weight Loss:  This one I really can't figure.  When I first quit in March, I got down to 164lbs after 2 weeks of not drinking.  About a 4 lb loss.  Then I started drinking again, continued eating chocolate and ballooned back up to 172lbs.  I'm estimating this is where I got to because I finally weighed myself after a few days of not drinking and working out and I was at 169lbs.  After 8 weeks and being on vacation, I still weighed 169lbs.  Then, get this, in the last 4 weeks I have dropped 8lbs.  I haven't worked out, I did have the stress of the car accident, but it wasn't huge, I still ate chocolate, even had Jack N The Box (aka, gross fast food) once a week.

New goal!!  Going for  1lb a week because I will be exercising and eating better.

Eating habits: I really need to eat better.  I have done a little better this past week, preparing healthier meals but I need to focus on this. Another blogger mentioned a book I may read.  I just need to make the effort to find healthier things to cook and not my normal comfort food.  I switched from Splenda to Stevia but now I'm not sure how much better that is for me.  I'll tackle the sweetner thing later.

New goal!! I'm going to add one new evening menu per week that is what I consider healthy and fresh.  After 5 weeks I'll have a weeknight's worth of recipes to add in to my repertoire!

Medical Condition:  Frankly, I'm a mess, or feel that way.  If you saw my post on Newfound Strength, you'll see I had an abnormal MRI.  I have a meeting with the neurologist next Friday.  I went and obtained the report for that and my skull xray to see exactly what it said.  Surprisingly, nothing.  Which is good.  The reason I was referred was because I have been having headaches above my left eye/temple area and because the report said I had a condition of undetermined significance.  The condition, when I looked up the mumbo jumbo, was......drum roll.....wide set eyes.  Yes, and I do.  Duh.  Had 'em all my life, very good depth perception I must say.  So a lot of stress for nothing.  No sinus polyp, no tumor, no aneurysm about to explode.  But I still have my headache off and on, my vision in my left eye stink AND as of the MRI (supposedly no coincidence) I have been having hot flashes.  Little mini ones sometimes once an hour, like a light flushing feeling.    And I also developed a light twitch under my right eye this morning!

New goal!!!  Figure out these hot flashes.  Need to figure if it's just a readjusting, resetting from not drinking alcohol. (read somewhere that alcohol causes estrogen production and there is still some talk of too little estrogen causing hot flashes)  This also may just be coming off the stress of the MRI, some online blogging about Stevia causing hot flashes (naturally after I switch to it), or .........another drumroll....I may just be getting old!  (I think having some wine at night would actually alleviate my headache and subdue the hot flashes but I'm not ready to go that route!)  May have to back off on caffeine a bit and see what happens....yikes...more headaches there I'm sure!

Mood:  This one I have to say is awesome!  I feel so proud of myself for not drinking.  Even had a friend over the other night that I used to drink with a lot. She nursed two beers and my husband drank a bottle of wine over the course of the evening.  I probably would have had a bottle and a half before she had left.  Not sure if she drank less just because I wasn't drinking but she said she had been cutting back.  I just said I didn't like what it was doing to me physically....making me gain weight, not sleep, aggravating my rosacea, etc.  No big deal.  I feel happier than I have in a long time.  At first I would get moody, even if no wine cravings, and I seem to be moving past that.  I'm maybe not quite as euphoric as I was before but I'm much more steady.  When hubby annoys me, I work through it with a much more mature attitude.  This is a biggy...I no longer feel the need to unload my displeasure onto my husband.  I don't need to make him feel bad because I am feeling bad.  I just admit I feel tired, sad, bummed, whatever.....he gives me a hug, tells me he is there for me and we move on.  Mucho better.

The Medical Condition stuff is getting the most of my attention right now.  I want to work through all that junk and then maybe I'll add life goals to this list as well.  Right now I'm just sort of "existing" in this non drinking world and sitting with things.

HD