Wednesday, January 10, 2018

Declarations

Just realized it was Day 8 and I made it through a week! 

Last night we had a sporting event.  It helped that we had to eat dinner early around 5pm, drive 45 minutes and we didn't get home until close to 9pm.  I never would have drank under these circumstances so drinking didn't even cross my mind.  It was like having a "free" night from cravings.

I prefer not drinking.  I just read LIA LEON's blog and the recent post resonated with me.  When I am unhappy or stressed it's easier for me to see why I am craving wine and almost easier to stop the craving.  Whereas when I am feeling content, not stressed, overall happy....that's when I have visions of sitting down and drinking the liquid mellow. 

I know that visualizing that I won't stop at drink 2, will wake up thirsty, my face will be blotchy and I'll have interrupted sleep will be important to think about!

For now, I'm just really trying to deal with each day/situation as it comes.

Declaring things helps.  My first blogging attempt declared that I was going alcohol free.  That got me a lot of mileage......until it didn't.  I didn't really tell others but the blogging support kept me going.  Once I was proud of myself and hit 125 days then it sort of lost it's magical power.

I have tried since but I always let down my blog.  It's as if it just isn't enough of a draw to keep me from drinking.  I have joined the throngs of the quitters and starters.

So this time, so far, I have done 3 things.  Yes, I started blogging again.  It still helps even though it's not enough.  I also told the hubby I needed to change and he agreed to do a dry January with me.  I doubt he'll stick with it but I know I need to get those days under my belt.

Then, and I was really waffling on this, my friend invited us over on Saturday evening so she could cook for us and I could meet her boyfriend and also her sister.  They are big drinkers.  She never mentions her sister without mentioning what a big drinker she is.  When I saw her yesterday I did the unthinkable.  I told her that we were really looking forward to dinner but that we weren't drinking and hoped that was okay.  She was surprised and it was maybe a little awkward but now she knows!  She won't be expecting us to drink and I told her we would bring our sparkling water with us!

This is the first time I really have declared I'm not drinking and so I am looking forward to observing what happens to other people as they drink.  I have a feeling we'll be trying to find an excuse to leave early but we'll see.  Maybe it will be fun afterall!  Should be good food anyway that I will actually taste and savor and more importantly REMEMBER!  There have been far too many times where I have had good meals that I didn't take the time to enjoy!

Happy hump day everyone!

HD


9 comments:

  1. This is great news. I think it's important to have people know in real life. Blogging is great as other people here understand, but it's easy to stop looking at it, stop reading and posting. Great work, enjoy the dinner.

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  2. Great news indeed! When I started my blog in June 2016 (seems long ago) I did what you've done, I started telling close family and friends about my drinking problem. Many knew I drank too much, and some knew my drinking was a problem to a degree, but nobody ever made me feel bad about it (well, at times when an argument or disagreement came up, but thankfully, me and the other party would make up). This helped me stay sober for the 68 days straigt, but then... This time, I've widen the group of people I've shared my story with, about my drinking problem. This time, I'm not ashamed of talking about it to others (but only when I feel it's appropriate). A few of the young women I work with, mid 20s to early 30s can't believe I have a problem, they've drank with me plenty of times. True, but I finally told them I go home plenty of times and keep drinking more, to the point of no return. They still weren't shocked, in a way, they don't see it as all that bad, they're young. So one day I sat down with them, and realy told them my truth. They listened and understood. The scary thing about sharing with them, was the possibility of them sharing this with other co-workers, but so be it. This time around, I'm not ashamed of my trying to get sober. My alcohol problem is only a piece of who I am. I much more than that piece, and I am trying to remember this all the time.

    Long, long story, but HD, you are moving in the right direction! xoxo, ll

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    1. I think that's great how you shared with the younger gals! That's the tough part about drinking too much to be healthy but not enough to be disfunctional. Nobody would suspect so who would think to give us advice? Rarely was I waking up with any hangover so, other than disrupted sleep and then feeling bad about drinking, I didn't have much ramification to drinking a bottle of night. But I know it is so unhealthy!! Goodness knows what I have done to my body over the years!

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  3. Don’t feel like you are letting anyone down. Your commenters are cheering you on. I am here because I remember the pain and exhaustion of drinking too much, and not even considering quitting. Craziness.
    But I also now know the falseness of alcohol. I wasn’t really having fun in the end. I was just numb.
    Definitely keep playing the tape forward if you feel like drinking. That was a big lesson my hubby got in rehab and it has served him well.

    Enlisting your husband is great. Telling others is also huge.

    I hope you still have fun. Don’t feel bad if you want to leav early. A good nights sleep is always worthwhile.

    Hugs
    Anne

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    1. And I love that sleep!!! It's been lovely!

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  4. I have fun watching what happens to my friends who drink a lot!
    Faces get flushed, they get silly, kind of unclear.
    I also remember all the yucky things I feel if I were to drink!
    I am really glad you spoke up for yourself about not drinking!!
    xo
    Wendy

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  5. Congratulations on the first week done!
    Hugs,
    S

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  6. Congratulations on day 8! It's great that you have spoken up to people about not drinking. It sounds to me like you're setting yourself up for success by being open about it. I hope you enjoy your dinner and also the lovely refreshing sober sleep and zero morning after regrets. Have a great weekend x

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