The blahs

Tonight I'm feeling melancholy and really in the mood for wine.  Why?  Just to tune out the sadness.

I'm hungry, moody, tired and thirsty.  Duh, no wonder....

But I won't drink.  It's already almost 5:30pm, I'm about to make dinner and we don't have wine in the house.  Quarantine has helped me I guess.  I couldn't stand myself if I brought home Coronavirus just because of a wine run.....just can't do it.

I really wouldn't even know if that was where it came from.  But even the other parade of horribles goes through my head...….why it didn't before, I don't know.....but right now I can't stomach the thought of anything happening to me or my family because I asked for wine.

Well, not exactly me being "disinterested" in wine like I have been, but I'm not drinking tonight so there is that.

They cancelled school for the rest of the year and I'm just sad for my son, for me not watching him in  sports or other school events, no prom etc, and just missing the overall school camaraderie.  Feeling sorry for myself a bit although I can't really complain.  I feel horrible for all the seniors and their parents and mine is still only a junior.

So I'm just irritated tonight, sad, a bit anxious and just downright grouchy.  I want wine to tune that out.  But I know that once I get up from the computer, go have a mocktail, make dinner, this will pass.

Cravings really only involve a short window of time.  I just need to shut the blinds while the sun goes down and then I'll be fine.

Hugs to all like me and to others who want to quit.  It's hard to admit I can't moderate and that any time I say "yes" to wine almost always means (at least for sure at home) "yes" to a bottle and all that comes with it.  I'm just tired of it all.

Day 13 almost done.

HD