I love that expression ever since I heard other bloggers use it and it's what is going through my mind today.....FFS
I suppose I should write about the 3rd type of craving...the FFS craving.
Yesterday I had to work at the office for awhile, came home, finished setting timer lights on my Christmas decorations and was in a really good, relaxed mood. Then husband said he was running to the store to buy dogfood and would pick up the bottled water we needed and, as he put it, a Sunday bottle of white wine for me.
FFS.....do you think I said anything? Nope.
I can't blame him for asking since I had asked the day before and then changed my mind.
FFS....I wasn't even craving wine!!!
FFS...Do you think I had just one glass? Nope. Drank the whole bottle over the evening.
Why? No real idea. I was still irritated that he was drinking and I didn't want to be. It was like "if you can't beat him, join him".
I didn't have any blackout, I was coherent when I went to bed, I slept pretty well and my system cleaned itself out nicely this morning. (TMI)
I was awake for about a half hour in the middle of the night with intense heartburn. Pizza and wine don't mix well. And of course I was yelling in my head "FFS" at myself.
It's one thing to succumb to the wine witch when she is calling but to drink too much when she's not even in the house? Oh FFS.
I'm just going to jump on the bus now. No more alcohol until after I make it through New Years and a surgery I have scheduled in January. I'm so disgusted with myself! Everyone I follow is doing so well, you know who you are!! So I'm joining Team Alcohol Free!
Stay with me folks!! Please!!
HD
Sounds like a good plan to me! We can keep each other accountable and on track. So I won't forget at Christmas that you said no alcohol till after your surgery (which I hope is nothing major) xx
ReplyDeleteYes, keep me accountable!! Thx, just a procedure they knock you out for, relatively minor.
DeleteHaha this has made me laugh, I love a FFS, it goes with anything! Next time you are tempted I recommend a good burst of GTFOOH! xxx
ReplyDeleteLol, I had to google that one. Love it!!! Thanks!
DeleteI had to google FFS!
Deletexo
Wendy
I have lots and lots of experience starting over, so I would never judge anyone else. Also, it's when I am at my most smug that the wine witch (or whoever) sneaks up on me and throws wine down my throat.
ReplyDeleteHang in there!!
Lol, thanks!
DeleteHang in there, we can do this! It's hard, but it's possible. Just never give up :)
ReplyDeleteWe CAN do this!!!
DeleteHug. It's hard to be kind to ourselves when we are mad at ourselves.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's hard to not drink when others drink around us....can you enlist your husband in a dry holiday?
The beginning is always difficult. Change is complicated. Addition is a bitch. But it is worth it. To wake up every morning knowing where your phone is and what you have said to others. To be able to drive anywhere. To be at peace.
Hugs. Keep taking care of you,
Anne
Thanks, Anne, appreciate the continued support and it helps to know you are checking on me.
DeleteDon't beat yourself up. You have an addiction. It is just about impossible to stop at one glass. Dr John Kelly says that the brain quickly becomes used to the amount we drink and even when we abstain for a long time it remembers that amount and very quickly we fall back in to the pattern. I only heard that yesterday and it makes sense to me. It explains why I can not moderate and why I have fallen off the wagon so many times.
ReplyDeleteToo true!
Delete