Prepping for the inevitable...Part 1

Tuesday started the kickoff for a very busy season at work.  In doing this dry November, I must confess, I think it will be a little easier because I will be so busy.....at least I hope so :-)

I haven't had any cravings hit me to drink.  Another blogger (sorry, you, can't remember who!) mentioned Spindrift at Trader Joes.  Lifesaver!  I love their sparkling cucumber water.  For some reason it really hits the spot in the evening. I feel refreshed and energized.

I tend to think about wine about part way through getting dinner ready.  I must confess, I didn't cook that much in my first marriage, and I didn't for years in this one.  However, hubby took a job last spring and suddenly I had to do all the grocery shopping and cooking.  (I know, hush, there is very little sympathy aimed at me right now...but I DO handle everything else with the home...all finances and all the other chores concerned with living with the pigs in my life that I adore.)

So it has been stressful for me at this age a bit like it must be for a new young wife trying to get food on the table.  But I am finally getting in the groove.  Another blogger emailed me some pointers awhile ago and that helped too.  I have my go-to meals and I'm learning to forgive myself for sometimes just breaking out the frozen lasagna, salad and texas toast when I'm tired.  I am actually having fun now, finally, with meal planning.  Getting my game on in this regard has helped to quell cravings.

About half way through dinner prep I will often think of wine because, in the past, whenever I DID cook, it was so stressful for me that I needed to numb the process.  No more.  Yay!

Muscling through stressful occasions and doing them without wine must be the key for reducing some cravings in the future, eventually.  Just changing habits I guess.

I'm dealing with heavy stress today in regard to my court case with my ex.  This is never ending.  There is a meeting this afternoon that will either make me feel relieved, that things really are out of my control and I just need to be patient and cruise along, or else it's a situation that will make me feel wronged and taken advantage of.  Vague, I know, just not comfortable disclosing here.  My point is that there is a very high possibility of feeling upset, victimized, and just "fuck it" by 5 pm tonight.

I am trying to prepare for this possibility.  I have thought through the worst case scenario and I think I'm okay with it.  I can just be calm and deal with it.  Life isn't fair and today might be my dose of it.  But even if the worst case pans out, I don't need to blur my evening.  I've thought through this morning how wine won't help.  If my worst case happens, I'm going to "take to bed", cry my eyes out, take a really nice bubble bath with candles, and listen to my audio book that is really getting good.  I am prepared.

If things go okay, then I will just relax and enjoy my evening, taking time with tea and good magazines I'm behind on, to let the stress ease out.  And I still might take that bath regardless.

This is kind of a boring post, but I needed to re-read my last post and prep for this afternoon.

I'll post later how it went and how I'm doing.  Keeping accountable to this blog will get me through tonight.

HD