I finally feel like I am getting free from the clutches of alcohol. For some reason, it was pivotal to acknowledge, really acknowledge, that when I drink white wine, it will always be a bottle if given the chance.
Oh I'm sure there will be times where I don't drink a full bottle if out at a restaurant or around family but I'm going to assume those times would be anomalies.
I no longer crave wine every evening, I don't need it to unwind daily. But I know, and I'm learning, what my triggers are. The other night I tried again when I didn't really have any triggers. Well, the election was stressful but not like the normal stresses that trigger drinking. I just used it as an excuse. So, even unstressed, I still drank the whole thing just because it was there.
It's almost as if the habit of needing to drink alcohol regularly has gone away but the need to "drink" has not. If I drink sparkling water, I drink the whole bottle. It's like I need to keep sipping.
This may be the part of the habit like a smoker who wants something in their hand when drinking coffee. Something about 5 o'clock makes me want to have something in my hand, sipping. It almost doesn't matter what.
If I'm distracted by sipping tea or drinking water I don't seem to have cravings. It's almost a race....I need to start sipping something in the evenings BEFORE the craving hits. Once the craving to sip hits, then I immediately crave the wine. Interesting anyways.
I'm going to try to start my cucumber water a bit earlier, not wait for hubby to come home. Maybe drink more decaf tea and just see how it makes me feel. When I am away at Thanksgiving, I'll drink gobs of sparkling water around 4pm, before the family begins cocktail hour and see what happens.
Another blogger replied to a post with the gist that we have been testing our boundaries. I finally feel like I am setting up some boundaries within which I can live and commit to as opposed to setting up rules I feel the need to fight.
Always a journey.
HD
If you can set those bouondries, good for you! You are a stronger woman than I am! I do know that starting on non-alcoholic beverages early in the evening or as soon as I was seated in a restaurant was a huge way for me not to want to grab the vino. And, for a few months I was really into sugary cocktails-don't do those so much unless I'm out-but I still love all the glassware and continue to use that for my Pelligrino or whatever it is that I'm having.
ReplyDeleteTime will tell I guess! I know, there is something about a beautiful glass!
DeleteCeremony/glass IS a big part of it. Less now, but early on, I adopted ice water and a dash of lemon juice in a martini glass....same 'ceremony, and even a bit of the same acerbic, gin 'bite'. It helped.
DeleteI drink EVERYTHING out of a wine glass. Water, protein shakes, lemonade, tonic water, iced tea.... Anything to feel the "special"-ness of the drink. Helps a ton.
ReplyDelete