This is not a mind-blowing post. Just me writing down my thoughts so I can remember what it was like to be at Day 75.
1) The day to day struggle is over. I am more accepting of not drinking. Occasionally I think of drinking in the future. I know I have yet to fully shut that door. But, most important, I don't want it now. Other than some intermittent moodiness (that might have been there all along anyways) I like the person I am with no alcohol in my system.
2) I went through the surge of energy and then the complete lack of energy. I think I'm through some of the blah's. I'm slowly starting to move forward again.
3) The weight is starting to come off, ever slow slowly. I'm down about 5 or 6 pounds. We'll see if it continues.
4) I have a dining room mirror that you can't help but look into quickly as one walks past. I have been noticing my face looks like it's had a bit of a lift. I don't look near as tired as I used to. I look much better than I feel some days! Quite the reverse of when I was drinking. Sometimes I would look horrible but feel fine.
5) I have learned that I can get edgy in the evening. Alcohol used to take that edge off. Unfortunately it did more than just that. The surge of newness to not drinking kept that at bay for awhile too. Now I am feeling restless and edgy again but focusing on other things I can do to get through that moment. I no longer associate the edginess as a wine craving, just a mood I need to get through and I don't want to use alcohol as my tool.
6) I got excited about exercise for awhile and that faded when I got back from vacation. Struggling to get back into it right now and find a routine. I want to try yoga but am still a little intimidated. Wish I knew someone near me who would hold my hand, show me what to wear and bring, etc.
7) Beginning introspection. I'm not diving in too deeply, just dipping my toes in it for now, slowly. Thinking occasionally about what else I might want to do... where I might want to live some day. Working on how to be a better, more tolerant, more accepting spouse.
8) Thinking about how to change up my social scene and develop some deeper friendships nearby. Most of my longtime friends do not live near me.
9) We've had no kids around for a few weeks and will have all of ours around in August. Looking forward to doing everything with them alcohol free.
Okay, back to work.
HD
HD I love your lists. Congratulations on day 75! You're doing this so well!
ReplyDeleteLol, thanks, I'm trying!
DeleteI love these posts on what it's like at day x. It is so helpful to write, look back on view others' benchmarks too. X
ReplyDeleteI know, I still peruse others blogs for where they were around Day 75!
DeleteHappy day 75! Yes you should try yoga. If you have a yoga mat take it, if not they probably provide them. Just wear comfy clothes that won't slide up or down when you are in inverted positions. Yoga is great. I need to do it too. Pitty we don't live close, I'd come with you. I know what you mean about looking better than you feel. My skin seems to have a new shine to it. That's great you have lost some weight. I have my fingers crossed for that one. PDTG
ReplyDeleteI know, right? I could use a yoga buddy! I'm gearing up to give yoga try, we'll see!
DeleteI love yoga!
ReplyDeleteI also love that you have a good mind set here.
Just a real-life one!
Happy Day 75!!
xo
Wendy
Thanks, Wendy!
DeleteLove your lists too. How about trying a yoga class at home there are some short ones on youtube here's a 20 minute for absolute beginners. All you need is a mat (or towel), a quiet space, wifi, and some comfy clothes, you can do it!! Much love to you Habit Done xxxx https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0o0kNeOyH98
ReplyDeleteGlad you are back! I am definitely going to give this youtube a whirl next week.
DeleteI bet you will have so much fun with the kids and be super presence for them :)! It really does feel nice not having booze in the ole system constantly, not having life revolve around it (my life anyway). Those pounds will probably stay off- I think they are booze pounds! Go you, HD. :) <3
ReplyDeleteI am looking forward to being totally present this summer!
DeleteYay for day 75! You sound like you're in a good and grounded space. Try the yoga- I love what you wrote about walking past the mirror. The process is so hard sometimes and the changes and shifts are so subtle and then Bam! There they are! Xx
ReplyDeleteThanks. I agree, just Bam! Those little changes keep me moving forward!
DeleteI wish I was there to hold your hand.
ReplyDeleteYou are already doing so! Thanks!
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