Hello Blog

I took a blog breather.  I've been trying to do less social media as well although that hasn't been as successful.

What has gone well is my offline communication with fellow blogger, Lia.  Over the past month we have both gotten in touch with our feelings about drinking while drinking.  We're both ready for another good long stint of not drinking, maybe this time forever.

As Lia put it to me, she wants to get "to the other side" of not drinking.  That point we all read about. The depressing thought is that that point can take many months if not years.  But it will be so worth it, we both think.

I've thought a lot about taking that first drink.  I've realized that the first two drinks help me cope with my life but the rest just encourage me to lose it.  If I ever stopped at two drinks I probably wouldn't have any hang ups about drinking.  I might feel a little relaxed and mellow.  I probably wouldn't feel guilty about my drinking.

I know folks who would tell me that I don't really have any issues.  So what that I like to mellow out at night? So what if I drink more than the recommended amount?  I realize, though, that those folks who are likely to tell me I don't have a problem with drinking are likely to be ones that have some inappropriate relationship with alcohol themselves.

The bottom line is that I think about drinking/not drinking all the time.  I have to say this obsession over the past years has taken my mind off obsessing about other things.  I think it really gave me time to heal a bit.  Unfortunately it may also have let me push aside things I need to deal with.  But if that's the case then I need to deal with them anyways.

It's time to be done.  Whether I can "handle" my wine or not isn't the issue any more.  It's no longer fun to think about it, to beat myself up about it, to have anxiety about it, to obsess about it.  That isn't normal.

I want to get to that other side too so here I go.  Hubs is joining me for the most part.  He'll drink with my family when they come to town and may still go out for an occasional beer with the guys but he's supportive of my desire to dry out.

Anyone else with me and Lia, trying yet again?

HD